did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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