i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
