I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
