I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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