he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
