i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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