I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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