evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
