hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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