first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
