I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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