i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
