Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
