I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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