and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the day after is always just damage control
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
