just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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