did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
