She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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