arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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