Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
