Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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