never play flip cup with pint glasses
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
