I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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