If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
