i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
