whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
