it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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