that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think I am morally bankrupt
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
