Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
