You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you still have your period?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
