Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
