I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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