the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
