that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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