put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
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