So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
