I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
