so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
3 2 1 whiskey
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
