i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
