The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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