is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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