My sheets look like a crime scene.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
soo... how was my night?
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