are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
