Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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