just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
