Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
