paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
