I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
