Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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