can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
