dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
