these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
