Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
