I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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