I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
