I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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