i think i scared a bird with my dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
