just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
