Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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