if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
